What I am doing now?!!! Faqiao eh! How can I let a guy randomly influence my mood? Think properly, he does not care and neither thinks about my feeling. It’s so unfair. I suppose to do the same things back to him.
Argh, I don’t know. I can easily happy and easily sad because of his simply have a small reaction, even my family not so high level like this, affect me so much. What happens to me? I think I have to reset my mind, should be more rational. Some day I will found out myself so stupid, like someone so much for temporary, and then forget them so fast, like I always do. xD
But I feel if I say that I do not really care, and then I am VERY care.
I am so unhealthy, always bluff myself. =X
But I feel better now, as GPY said, be the one who love by others will much better. Also, let’s care about your friends around you first. That’s you do not have to suffering yourself to think a proper topic to talk to and find any words and sentences to have a good start of our conversation with them.
By the way, below consider as the good starting in one conversation! =D
“Eh?”
Yeah, it quite rude and a bit lame. But, this is how GPY used to start an enjoyable conversation in Window Vista Messenger!
Its quite special ma…xD
Tomorrow back hometown, yay!!^^
{I know I have to come back KL after 3 days 2 nights trip at home will so cruel for me.}
Never mind, as long as I can Go Back Home! My dad first time comes KL to fetch me back. Even it is because shun lu or shun bian, but he fetch me back to KL also. Sure got a time is doing it purposely one. Wahaha!
Love you, dad!^^
Out of my Mind
Air ketiak
Three hours later I have one presentation. I have done so many presentations that using English. I always said that, if the presentation is using Chinese, then I will be very good. Finally, today I have Chinese presentation. It is “introduce myself”. Just like how I started my 1st English presentation. But I do not do what I have said before; I suspect am I can be very good?
Tell you the fact, I AM SO SCARED NOW! I am fear for this than my 1st time present! I suppose to be more confident… But now see, I am sure my heartbeat can be heard by the stranger that is sitting beside me.
Calm down, think about family, friends, pets, Buddha Association…
Like really useful, like not so scare already. Hahaha!
I know self-bluffing is not so healthy.
Btw, just like I have told Gpy before, I keep diarrhea recently… Now, I am supposing to rushing to the toilet. But I insist to make a good ending.
************************************************************************
How to face problem?
The way you think can actually change the ending. When there is a problem, calm down, try to accept the problem. Rushing will just make things worse, because you may run out of intellect. Accept not means that you are being complacent and let it be. Admit and try to make out a solution calmly. We do not call problem as problem, we call problem as challenge. When you are accepting challenge without running away, U R STRONG!
I want to enjoy my presentation, it doesn’t matter!
God bless me! ^^
I miss my dogs_
Dog, a living thing that uses the word 'cute' to descried with among people. I love dog, no, I don't really love them, wait, do I?
Yea, I should say I love dog but NOT MINE! Woah! Something surprised hm? I'll tell you what my dogs had done this morning and you might forgive me for disliking my own doggies. Here we go.
This morning was a pretty though sleepy, but happy morning! I had my ordinary way to my car and waited for my sisters to get into it. Everything was normal and I was sleepy like I always do. After reversing my car out of the big gates of mine, I heard something sounds like having a party, party? No, not party, a group of gangsters? No? A WAR!! Definitely a dog war! You'll never know how terrible it is without witnessing it! 0_0
I saw a poor dog. I guessed it was same age with my other dogs, struggling weakly to escape from the biting of my dogs. It sounded bad right? My dogs were the bullies... or should I say murderers? The poor dog was facing about six dogs of mine at that time. I widened my eyes unbelievable once I saw them doing such a cruel thing towards a helpless dog. I opened the car door and yelled at them, trying to stop them. Nonetheless, some of them took a step backward while the main lead, the oldest dog among all and as the mother of them, kept on biting the dog.
I felt like shouting in my head. Helpless was filling up my blood.
My mum saw it and shouted off all the dogs. The poor little dog dashed into my house and disappeared from my version. I was admiring my mum at that time. When she got into the car, I heard the sound of war choired again. My mum told me not to care about it. We're going to be late. Although I couldn't see what actually happened at the back of the big gate, I knew the dog was suffering again.
About 6 something in the evening, I asked my mum about the dog. She said it has been dead, like what she has predicted in the morning.
My memory ran back to years ago, when three little cute dogs had their first day staying at my house. They're dirty, cute, small, and lovely. I have a strong feeling to believe that they will become some kind dogs like my previous dog that will move away when an old woman is cycling pass.
During the past, one of the dogs had dead because of a bully case from those dogs beside my house. I still remember how creepy it is when my mum told me about what had happened. My dog was bit until dead. That was the first time I cried for a dog. After that case, I got a lot of chances to look at those gangsters again. I hate them. I hate them I hate them! I hate them taking my dog life away!
After two years, I supposed, another two dogs pregnant. I was very happy since that's the first time my dogs were having babies! I thought my house will full with cute little dogs and stay happy ever after but who know, one of the two dogs bit all the babies of another’s once it has given birth. You’ll never know how shocked I was when I heard the news. They’re sisters, aren’t they?
After that, the poor dog that has its babies bitten disappeared. I guessed it was depressed by how cruel her sister did to her babies. The cruel selfish dog was the only one left with its puppies here and soon they became a big family. However, I have no more love towards them, unlike what I always did in the past. I love puppies but not those with cruel blood running down their vessels.
I guessed it was something they called recycle. Now, I saw the shadow of the dogs I hate from my very own dogs.
“Our dogs are great, aren’t they?” My mum asked, pulling me back to the reality.
Great? I suspect. She has her words wrong. I smiled weakly and left.
I miss my innocent dogs.
Random th0ughts =]
We couldn't change the world but ourselves.
I still remember someone said legs can use to kick or kill; cars can drive people or kill them. So, what the thing means is always depend on us, isn't it? Everything must have its positive and negative. Critic is not a bad thing while complement will not be something good always.
The time I read this blog, I felt warm. Those encouragements brighten up my mood, which teach me to smile evreytime I mad. You will never know how thankful of my heart towards those words.
Sunday, the first day I have to be in school every week.
Everyone was same. However, I found myself wasn't that annoying towards them. They're not that bad after all, aren't them? My class is still beautiful like it always does.
I have a random thought during my class today. I thought of the Buddha Association, well, in the future. All of my friends have getting older, not really old but I guess is somewhere around 35-40. We're laughing and playing together, still with the loud mushroom, strict but soft when in the phone Eh Lifen (XD), perhaps the kind Meiteng and Thinthin, and lastly, the blur us. We organize a lot of activities, that time and we are enjoying standing in front, talking like nothing serious, enjoy and relax at the same time. Sometime we are very busy, but enjoy the feeling to have something done together. Although we’re not young at that time, every young teenager likes us, feels without stress while being with us.
cut off --
That was what I wrote yesterday, but I didn’t get the chance to post it due to my schedule, so I saved it somewhere. =p
Today was the first day I drive my car without anyone beside me. 0_0
Not really a good experience but I seriously love the feel! LOL! I was way too careful while driving comparing to my other days with someone beside me! Haha, however, I still manage to drive back home without giving any injury to me myself neither the car! Congratulate to me! =D
Perhaps it’s time for me to fulfill someone with my promise that I’ll drive her yc someday. ;]
I’m waiting for the day to come.
So, wait me =]
Someday we will shiny together!
In my heart, she always is the person who can bring a happy atmosphere and she always is the optimistic one. Are she felling tired recently? I hope she can recover soon; I always willing to be the good listener, (Call me rather than My FM ><) and maybe think about dependent on this faqiao’s person blog! ^^
Now, I feeling tired… I tired of life, pursuing dream not as easy as I think. Sometimes, I’m thinking, why we must study? I feel like we are just wasting our times for life, maybe tomorrow I would die. So why we cannot just do something we hope to do? Do it as we not die yet? If I will get satisfy for what I have done in almost 19 years life? If I going to die in the next second? Would I feeling regret because I forgot to do something important for me, or for the people around me?
The point here is: I’m going to vindicate to the guy! Faqiao… Just said want to give up him two days ago… and, which guy? Two many guys… Flower heart!XD
Return the title about life. I and Miss Goh have discussed about this topic before, the conclusion is, maybe now you are doing something you unwilling to do, but after bitter life, you can laughing like hell without worry.
Realistic life pushing us, do move on! Do be strong! Sunny day will coming after heavy rain! My dad will come soon…
By the way, I’m learning to be more cherishing my times…
Learning……
Frankly, the place I always dependent on is Our Blog. Just like my dairy, but not write it daily, just write when the mood is coming. Is it randomly post? Not really, all I share here are by genuinely.
Before I was thinking to give my friends this blog email, let them to read our blog. But Miss Goh named our post as “The Hidden Part”. So there are a lot of secrets here? XD
Last but not least, I really hope she can be alright soon... Because we have to shine together! XD
Down _
Today was a bad day for me to hardly pass. No wonder why, my mood was always out of control recently.
Is it my mistake or others?
I'll always try to make the atmosphere turning better when I face something bad among friends. But recently I was totally different. When I first step into my upper six life, I'll always try to tolerate with the one sitting beside me. You will know the person if you know me better. She's a straight-forward girl, good, but it will be annoying if she does everything depend on her mood.
Not really clear? Okay, here come the examples:
(a) When you're asking question, she shows her impatient towards you, making you feeling you're asking stupid question.
(b) Statement (a) seems like not a good example? You'll see if that keeps on happening in your everyday especially in school, there're tones of question to be asked in school right?
(c) Scolding you when you don't really mean it. She just acts on impulse without thinking whether what you're trying to say especially the jokes.
I have tried to tolerate since she's not that simple kind, but I failed to do that recently.
Further more, another guy who is sharing the same class with me made me mad too. My toleration was running out recently.
Today when I was in the class, I felt like nobody here understands me. Everyone has their shorts to make me feeling bad. I think my friendly image has gone and come to my true self.... LOL, it seems like not a good thing, isn't it?
During the club time, I'm grouped into the debate group. I was alone there since my friends were having their tuition classes. Without anyone closed to me, I felt helpless. My brain was appearing lots of points but I not able to stand up and tell them my opinion. I'm the oldest there. It should not be happened on me right? I hope to be active but I just couldn't. Poor me. I felt I was useless at that time, same like what tan7yin feels when she's in the class.
Nevertheless, when I came to this blog and read the post tan7yin had posted, I felt warm. I thought she might not care about those lyrics I had written in the booklet I made, thanks, you cheer me up with the URL link. Although I've watched that mv tones of time, I just couldn't help but watching it all over again. It's because it makes me feel like a gift given by tan7yin which was the biggest encouragement to me today. Listening to that song, I'm really touch and gonna to be cried at the same time! LOL! But I control it well! XD
btw, thanks a lot.
Trying something new...
Opz! I become Kl rang again…
I’m passing my free time together with my laptop again…
No more YC n no more blow water…
I’m facing all my KL friends again.
Excuse me, can u please speak English?
OK, try my best! ><
Today when I meet all my college friends, I feel like a fish out of water…
I didn’t talk much. I looked like concentrate in the conversation, but actually my heart at somewhere, it’s not with me…
New semester new feel. I am going to have five new lecturers.
Today, I meet lecturer of Critical thinking.
An Open-minded lecturer, stylish 1, talking so funny 1…
Feel good in her class.
How to become a critical thinker?
Think outside-of-box! I like this sentences she teach…
I wanted to become more active, but few hours ago, I even never open my mouth in the class. All the course mates keep speaking English, sometimes they are laughing.
Sadly, I didn’t know what they are laughing about.
I started to think, when I can only definitely merge into them??
Stress is everywhere, no pain, no gain.
While I’m thinking something to sharing here, suddenly my music playlists playing Twins song. It directly makes me think of a person who loves Twins very much!
Is it just a coincident??
Not sure...
However,do our best!
A Vain Hope
Finally someone has back to her ordinary life and I, whose schedule was definitely changed after her appearance, go on my daily routine again.
Why I found myself sad after all? Ain't I supposed to be happy because of the increasing of free time now??? Haiys, I've to admit that : No Tan7yin no much fun! I'm lazy to have a tea with tr or maybe lf but with Tan7yin surely SURE! lol! Is my bias that obvious? XD
Recently I am having a big burning hope to study like crazy to score my STPM! I hope I can improve from a 1.0++ student to a 3.0++ student! Is it possible?? Or maybe I'll be able to be 1 of those star students in the last year of my secondary school life! (I'm thinking of something impossible again since here's only a blog! lol! Imagination is something we need right? XD) And then my mum will be surprised of that and proud of me (Will she? ;[ ) and give me some money to visit other country again! I want to visit Korea! XD
But wait... See what am I doing now?
Every part of my body which supposed to be glued inside my room with my books in front of them is now facing an arousing monitor with my fingers dancing on the keyboard smoothly like what I did every other day.
Think is always easier than do.
Another 7 months for me but I don't even understand what the questions mean when I glance over them! My God!
Poor me. I hope I won't regret when I'm old but I guess I'll do that someday in the future! Oh please, don't!
I'm going to leave the computer right now!
By the way, something to share to cheer you all up!
