F.A.M.I.L.Y

The second time leaving my home. I brought a small hand-carry back to Kemaman and it returns to be a huge luggage. It feels like I'm moving here, again. =x

My mum helped me packing yesterday. She thought I'm leaving to Africa so she gave me a lot of food and other daily stuff which makes my luggage is almost overweight and broken! And she bought me a lot of stuff. New luggage, new bag, new Alene (yea..Anlene =x ) ... She knew my lecturer is asking for a traditional costume so she drove me around Kemaman to get me one. Although she keeps on belebeh while searching for the clothe, I can see she is so worry about me. Beside, she cooked me bahkuteh yesterday night and we had a grapefruit as dessert which she decided to eat during the coming mid-autumn festival.

My dad bought me the camera. That is the first ever time to see my dad being so patient to search me something around Kuantan. "I will get you the camera as I promised." My dad said that. I think he knew I'm a bit unhappy when he rejected me last time. At last, he got the camera at a electronic shop in Kuantan. I was so happy and guilty at the same time. The next day, I told them about the traditional costume stuff. Everyone have no idea but at last, he showed me his wedding coat. Wow. He used to be so thin and handsome!! Once again he solved my problem. I don't have to frus for anything!! Besides, He woke me up this morning around 4am, worrying I'll wake up late and miss the flight, yet he doesn't get enough sleep.

During the holiday, I took more time to eat with them. Delayed yc and had dinners with them. 

And nothing.

What parents done to me, I'll never ever manage to pay them in return.

Their bloods, their tears, their tolerances, their loves.

Everything is silent, unspoken, but heart-touching. 

I love you, dad and mum.

Sorry (Dear Daddy)

Dear Daddy Lyrics (English Translation)

Forgive me if I possibly hurt your feelings today.

My immature self just said immature things.

If you possibly can't understand my feelings, it's fine.

No need for excuses, It's all my fault.

Even if you don't say everyone knows, both your eyes are immersed with tears.

Sorry, so sorry. This is my heart.

You know the day I've opened up my heart I'll do better.

Sorry. (Sorry) I'm sorry. (Sorry) I can't say anything other than this. Yeah~

You can still hate me for your sorrowful feelings.

There's no need for any expressions. To me you'll be here forever.

Even if you don't say everyone knows, both your eyes are immersed with tears.

Sorry, so sorry. This is my heart.

You know the day I've opened up my heart I'll do better.

Sorry. (Sorry) I'm sorry. (Sorry) I can't say anything other than this. Yeah~

I can't do anything other than this. I can't imagine a world without you.

Although I'm lacking and deficient, I love you. Oh, oh~

Even if you don't say everyone knows, both your eyes are immersed with tears.

Sorry, so sorry. This is my heart.

You know the day I've opened up my heart I'll do better.

Sorry. (Sorry) I'm sorry. (Sorry) I can't say anything other than this, yeah.

Sorry, sorry. So hard to say I'm sorry.

Sorry, I'm sorry. I can't say anything other than this, yeah.

Those masks

Judgement is everywhere with

                             people.

Grandpa

Today, me and my family went to visit my grandpa as usual.


When grandpa saw us, he tried his best to stand up from the chair. He then took something inside his drawer. That was a few of papers that full of words. 


Without saying any words, he passed the paper piece by piece to my mother, his dearest daughter. I was standing behind my mother, and we read the word by word, piece by piece that was written by grandpa together.


From the few of papers, my grandpa talked about his coming birthday. Everybody knows depth inside that that how much grandpa likes to celebrates his birthday with all his sons, daughters and grandchildren. We would love to celebrate with him too.


Sadly, on the papers, he wants to cancel his birthday celebration in this year. 


"Everybody is busy, nobody takes me to buy fish, vegetable and so on. I decided to cancel my birthday. I'm an old man now, but I am lucky. I can still write a few words, shower, eat porridge, and drink water by myself. The only thing I am not lucky is I got all the diseases with me.. I guess this is called the process of born then old then get sick and then leave this world one day..."


In that second, I have no idea how was my mum feel, but I felt that my heart very heavy. Grandpa thought that he is just a burden for this family.


After he shown us, he kept his papers in drawer again. Then, he smile like usual and asked my mum to pass him the Chinese calligraphy that written by him. He still play the role of being a responsible father. He read the Chinese Idioms for my mum, and make sure my mum remember. 

In that moment, I saw a father teaching his little daughter the principles about life. He was teaching with full of patience, my mum was nodding her head to everything he taught, just like his little gal like last time, and now.

Grandpa can still write and you can see, the words written by him is everywhere in his room. I still remember, last time, when grandpa owned a house, when he was healthier and the time he still able to cook for us, the words was everywhere in his whole house.

Grandpa even wrote a "壽" (birthday) that was taller than himself to celebrate his 86 years old birthday. That time he was still in his old house.
Beside was grandpa pictures that shown how much he changed in after 50++ years. He was a very strong father and husband who take care of 5 daughters, 3 sons, and my mentally ill grandma.

My grandpa is 96 years old in this year. According to my aunt, grandpa celebrated 96 years old last year, too. 

My dad said, it does matter. It means he always young.

My heart getting heavier and heavier.


Here, I just want to tell you grandpa, we will celebrate your birthday every year as usual, like how we always do, nothing will be more important than that. 

What you have taught my mum, my mum have also taught me, this was what she taught since I was young:
“万事以孝为先”.

"Filial piety is the very first thing you need to consider before everything is done."

Camp

I joined a committee group of a camp here. 


At first, I thought I'm going to be a friendly, funny and noisy person with those strangers. I will always be the one who talk cold jokes and do lame thing. Instead, they said I'm so quiet and 斯文. LOL I like the adjective x)


Well, I don't know why. I just couldn't be active when everyone is so noisy and especially they are already bestie. I feel like fish out of the water sometime. I knew some of them are trying to be friendly to me, taking more time to talk with me; however, I just couldn't being my true self with them. Aiys. I miss my old camp mates D=


Beside that, this camp seriously takes too much of my assignments time. I felt so stress when my time is spending on the preparation of the camp. Weird. I've never felt that when I'm preparing camp in Kemaman. Is it because of my own bias? 


After all, I wish this camp will at least leave some nice memories to me. I'm looking forward to it =)


Good LUCK!


*and DO ASSIGNMENTS NOW!!! Dx

Have fun with elephant =)

I should update something, I must.


It was like years since my last update. Sorry, kinda  busy with the assignments at the moment. Ew. It's not easy to be a designing student. Well, it's fun after all ;)


Cut it short. I'm going to update my little elephant, the first assignment for my 3D class. It cut me a lot. D= yet I love it a lot <3 hahaha

It was finished around 3am last night!

ok. Im just lazy to rotate it. sowie =x

I bite its teeth!! ahha

the ears can be moved =) 

It's not something very great, neither something very creative. It contains a lot lovessss :)

And it is going to be in my personal exhibition one day xD

Feel Good

I'm having holiday now, anyway it gonna end soon. This holiday can be described as "Nobody YC with CY."

Enough of being a driver in Kemaman, always have to pick brother, sister, and another Canada long-lost sister from SMKSI 1. 

Yesterday be the driver again drove to Kuantan, I was quite tired and everything happened around was just made feel angry.

However, everything turned to be alright after I have done one of the thing that I like to do in Kuantan house...

... Riding bicycle!!!

Always can be relax and just leave your brain blank. 

Do not have to think anything and just see the nice houses around and see the beautiful sky changing colour from blue to red to dark.

One of the japanese show was randomly appeared on my head when I was riding bicycle...